I hate to admit it but I have been a little lazy for the past four months. My A1c showed it, the toughest part of diabetes is never thinking that you know everything about it. The minute you do that you will start to see higher blood sugars. I thought everyone of my days was the same and that I could guesstimate my blood sugars and the amount of insulin I would need. When my A1C was down to 6.2 I was never guessing about any part of my disease, I would always count my carbohydrates and use the bolus wizard on the pump. We are nothing if we do not use the tools that we are given.
This past weekend I decided to go back to living with a little bit of fear. For almost five years I have had a fear of higher blood sugars, I lived with a fear that bad news was coming at any minute. This fear came from years of not taking care of myself and not knowing what kind of damage that I did internally over those ten years. Recently I have been cycling and running at a high level, for me anyway. I lost that fear of death, I forgot about how bad the past was. I was enjoying my life, I would have a drink with dinner each Friday, I was having pizza and dessert more than I should, I could have pizza one night and go out and run a 5k at a personal record the next day. Why should I be afraid of my diabetes?
The weird thing is that fear drove me to get to that point of running and cycling at a high level. Today I let in the fear again, yes I'm in the best shape of my life and so happy with my life but why should I stop doing the things that got me to this point? In my mind I shouldn't, today I started to log my blood sugar before each run or bike ride that I do. I will also write what my blood sugar is doing before exercise and post, I will then write what my exercise was and what I did to make sure my blood sugar was ok during my exercise. It may be a bit extreme but I need to go to extremes to challenge myself. I will get my A1C back under 7 and I will continue to enjoy all that this life has to offer.
This past weekend I decided to go back to living with a little bit of fear. For almost five years I have had a fear of higher blood sugars, I lived with a fear that bad news was coming at any minute. This fear came from years of not taking care of myself and not knowing what kind of damage that I did internally over those ten years. Recently I have been cycling and running at a high level, for me anyway. I lost that fear of death, I forgot about how bad the past was. I was enjoying my life, I would have a drink with dinner each Friday, I was having pizza and dessert more than I should, I could have pizza one night and go out and run a 5k at a personal record the next day. Why should I be afraid of my diabetes?
The weird thing is that fear drove me to get to that point of running and cycling at a high level. Today I let in the fear again, yes I'm in the best shape of my life and so happy with my life but why should I stop doing the things that got me to this point? In my mind I shouldn't, today I started to log my blood sugar before each run or bike ride that I do. I will also write what my blood sugar is doing before exercise and post, I will then write what my exercise was and what I did to make sure my blood sugar was ok during my exercise. It may be a bit extreme but I need to go to extremes to challenge myself. I will get my A1C back under 7 and I will continue to enjoy all that this life has to offer.
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