This past weekend I decided to go back to living with a little bit of fear. For almost five years I have had a fear of higher blood sugars, I lived with a fear that bad news was coming at any minute. This fear came from years of not taking care of myself and not knowing what kind of damage that I did internally over those ten years. Recently I have been cycling and running at a high level, for me anyway. I lost that fear of death, I forgot about how bad the past was. I was enjoying my life, I would have a drink with dinner each Friday, I was having pizza and dessert more than I should, I could have pizza one night and go out and run a 5k at a personal record the next day. Why should I be afraid of my diabetes?
The weird thing is that fear drove me to get to that point of running and cycling at a high level. Today I let in the fear again, yes I'm in the best shape of my life and so happy with my life but why should I stop doing the things that got me to this point? In my mind I shouldn't, today I started to log my blood sugar before each run or bike ride that I do. I will also write what my blood sugar is doing before exercise and post, I will then write what my exercise was and what I did to make sure my blood sugar was ok during my exercise. It may be a bit extreme but I need to go to extremes to challenge myself. I will get my A1C back under 7 and I will continue to enjoy all that this life has to offer.