Low blood sugars are never fun. The feeling that accompany a low blood sugar varies from person to person. After ten years of very high blood sugars, I feel that my lows are on the severe side. I would love to have a numb tongue or the feeling of dizziness with a low. The story below is very rare for me but was bad enough that I needed to share it.
This afternoon brought another low, I was only at 63 but I felt a lot lower. A lot of times a little bit of depression will let me know that I'm low. When I talk about being depressed when I'm low it will often vary from situation to situation. Today I was at work, I was using a machine on the greens when I suddenly started to think about a mistake I made while doing sod work. For a good five minutes I put myself down, I became very short tempered and was swearing at myself if I made even the smallest mistake doing the job at hand. Today no one was around when this happened, I realized that I was low and quickly had something to drink and eat to raise my blood sugar.
To many times I will be low when people are around, my mood will suddenly change and I become very angry and don't want to be around anyone. I will not talk or show any emotion, this obviously raises some flags to the people close to me. They will suggest grabbing food or often ask if I'm ok. I will answer with the usual "I'm fine, I'm just tired." It's simple and gives a reason for my mood, it will get them off my back and let me go on with whatever I'm doing. Five minutes later I'll be with a glass of juice having to apologize for my attitude minutes earlier.
Having to apologize for being low is never fun. It happens to often, but my blood sugar will be around 80, which I don't consider low. It is just what comes with my low blood sugars. I don't know what to do to fix it, I have a phone call scheduled with my doctor this evening to try and solve the problem.
In very extreme cases the thoughts turn dark when I'm low. This happens once every six months but I want to share it to get it out there because maybe someone else has the same feeling and is scared to talk about it. The thought of taking a lot of insulin has entered my mind when I'm low, mentally I'm off when I'm low. I would never do this, I love my life and the thought of doing so scares me. Again this is why I have called my doctor, this is not normal and I need help. I don't know why I have this thought, thinking back to the last time this happened I can remember thinking that I was tired of the roller coaster ride, I was tired of putting the people in my life through so much. These thoughts raise flags and tell me that I'm low, I just wish it wouldn't get to that point.
Again I have taken the right steps to solve this problem. I feel that if I did not talk about it I would be doing the diabetes community a disservice. I can't imagine that I'm the only one that has these feelings, that scares me. I know what it is like and I don't want anyone to have to deal with a low like I have every few months.