Now that I'm obsessed with my diabetes and my diet I was so worried about falling back into my old habits. I had a beer after the game and sat around with the team for a half hour but all I could think was am I going back to my old way of life? As much as I wanted to stay and talk with the team I couldn't because I felt like my old self.
I know that it wasn't my friends or softball that caused my bad health. I have such bad memories of that time that playing softball or golf is no longer enjoyable. I now love cycling, working out and eating healthy. These activities are new to me and are part of a new life, it's bad but I wish I could erase the memories from my mind. I know I can't go back and fix the past but I can and will have a much better future than past.