After a midnight low the brain starts thinking way too much. All day today I thought about what had made my blood sugar low. Maybe my basal rates are too high and that caused the low. I also thought that I’m trying way too hard to be perfect. I could be at a point now that I’m taking my disease to seriously and trying to be perfect. I’m so determined to stay in a seventy point range with my blood sugar that I’m worried I will drive myself crazy. But if I don’t challenge myself will I go back to my old ways. This thought process went on well I made the half hour drive to the gym this morning, to add fuel to the fire I had the new Snow Patrol album in and a song came on that I feel describes my past perfectly. Now did a band think, I bet there is a guy who has diabetes that went thru a really tough battle with his disease for ten years, lets write a song about that. I wish, but that’s not the case, I have no clue what the song is truly about but I can relate it to my life. As I listened to the song I began to reflect on my prior state. I began to think about how bad it truly was and how lucky I’m to be here living the complete opposite life. As I got to the gym I took a deep breath mentally yelled at myself for the thoughts I had and went on with my day. The brain is an amazing tool that does weird things, although a lot of my day was spent wondering why, at the end of the day I’m just happy to be alive.
Below is the song that I listened to well my brain was all over the place. I invite you to give it a listen.