The first scare that I had was at college and I was twenty-two, as I went to bathroom before showering I was urinating straight blood. For anyone this is not something that you want to see, I quickly threw my clothes back on called my parents. I was scared, I knew what I had to do but I wanted no part of a hospital. I knew I wasn’t taking care of myself and going to the hospital would surely get me in trouble. I didn’t want to get yelled at for not taking care of my diabetes. After sitting around for a half hour I went to the hospital near the college. I filled out all the paper work and listed that I was a diabetic. When I was taken in to see a doctor, I was asked the usual questions and a few trying to figure out why I had blood in my urine. I was given a cup and off to the bathroom I went. This time my urine was a rusty color. I handed the sup to a nurse and was told to take a seat back in the waiting room. I sat watching the Red Sox playoff game for thirty minutes. Finally the doctor came out and said you do have some blood in your urine, this I knew. He told me that they had not found anything and to just keep an eye on it.
Two years later at the age of twenty-four I had severe pains in my back. The pain was in the lower part of my back where my kidneys are. After seeing my family doctor and explaining the pains I was given a referral to a local urologist. When I went to see the urologist I was given a ultra sound and two weeks later would have to go back for a cystoscopy. I’m not going to go in to details about the cystoscopy, it was the most painful thing I’ve ever had done and something I would not want again. Another two weeks would pass until my next appointment. When I went back I was told that I may have a few small kidney stones but nothing major. I was told that I will get pain now and again but they will work their way down and out of my body. In this time no one ever asked or mentioned my diabetes. Of course I didn’t want them to but when I think back on it someone should have seen that I was not taking care of myself. I’m not blaming the doctors for anything; they were not the ones that caused everything to happen. That was all me. As time would go on, I would have intense pain in my back and at times in my left testicle. In this time I saw numerous doctors and was given ultra sound after ultra sound on my testicles and kidneys. Every time I was told that they didn’t see anything. The next time that I would go to a hospital they found the blood clot in my shoulder.
This brings us to present day. I’m in great health, I’m the right weight, my heart rate is good and I’ve had no problems at all. You may think, well what’s the problem? The answer is I don’t know and that’s why I’m scared. I have no idea what I did to myself internally in those ten years. I ate all fast food and drank heavily. Throw in the diabetes and it makes everything a lot worse. Diabetes if controlled correctly will not affect a diabetic’s life expectancy. I didn’t fall in to that category for a long time. Before new technology the estimate was that diabetes can take six to ten years off your life expectancy. I have had problems in the past as you just read, I now live with a lot more fear of something internally, organ failure, blindness and nerve damage may pop up a lot sooner. I already have a lot of trouble being outside in the cold, my body especially my hands and feet get cold in less than five minutes in temperatures below forty-five. I turned down tickets to todays Patriots game because my body would not be able to handle the wind and temperatures around twenty. My hands and feet would be numb tailgating in the parking lot never mind sitting in a seat for hours. I would throw my entire Sunday away to warm up and feel better. I really don’t want that, I want to enjoy and be active every day. No one knows the future but I feel I live with more fears then the normal person. I’m determined to live my life but with every pain or cold that I get I can’t help but think that it may be worse than a quick pain or the common cold.