Another conversation that came out of the blue was with my philosophy teacher after class last night. He handed back our first assignment which was three questions about a meaningful life and if each individual wants to be meaningful in some way. When I wrote the paper I remember I was just in one of my zones, I answered each question truthfully and used life experiences as examples. When he handed them back I quickly noticed the vast amounts of red markings all over the paper, instantly I froze and thought oh crap I’m in over my head. As I read his comments and what he had written I realized that he was impressed with my answers. I let out a sigh of relief and moved on to the second page where I read the words please speak with me after class. After class I went up to the professor and asked in a childlike manner “you wanted to see me?” He quickly smiled and asked why I don’t speak in class; I responded that I’m often thinking too much and honestly scared of the response to my answer. He laughed and said you’re a very autonomous person, never be scared to ask answer a question. I smiled and then asked a question about the lecture he had just given, thirty minutes later we were in deep conversation about world issues.
Both of those conversations would have been very uncommon for me a few years back, now they seem to be a regular occurrence. My question is how have I gone from caring only about sports, beer and money to being well read in twentieth century Europe, nutrition and slowly becoming a diabetic advocate. The common answer would be well you’ve finally grown up; I feel there is a lot more to it. Yes I have grown a lot over the past five years but in the last year I have done more with my life than I have in the previous twenty-eight years of living. I’m at a major crossroad right now, I have these new passions in my life that are helping me to meet and get to know people I would I have never said a word to. At the same time I’m losing a lot of the people that were in my life before this change. I honestly don’t have anything in common with them anymore, they don’t care that I’ve been reading Mein Kampf in my free time. I just can’t hold a conversation with the people I once did, these people still mean a lot to me but were on different paths now. I don’t know what lies ahead but I’m very anxious to see what is to come.