The dislike of my birthday started when I was about fifteen, the same time I started not taking care of myself. The dislike has gotten a lot stronger as time has gone on. This is hard to say and hard to hear, I don't like my birthday because I don't like myself. Why should I celebrate my life when until a couple years ago I did nothing with it. I had every chance to do something with my life and every time I wasted it. I honestly never thought I would see my 30th birthday, at age 23 I thought I'd be dead by now. I knew the road I was going down and I knew how it would end. I had no problem accepting my fate either, it did not bother me. Death sounded good to me then, I was tired of feeling like crap and I didn't want to fix it. I just wanted it to end.
My birthday is now my wedding anniversary, that is when I was born again. Yes it took a little time to get where I should be but if it wasn't for Leanne I would not be alive today. Leanne is the one that deserves all of the credit, she fixed me and she has been the driving force behind everything that I do. I thank god for everyday now and try to make life a little easier for others so they don't have to go through the pain that I did. Life is a wonderful thing and once you learn that all the little things, like clothes, cars, and money don't matter. It is the people in our life that mean the most and I can't thank everyone that is a part of my life enough for what they have done for me these past three years. On Monday I will greatly appreciate the well wishes not because of what they say but because of who they came from.