After an amazing Christmas Eve and Christmas I quickly jumped back to reality today.  A few months back I thought it would be a good idea to schedule an endocrinologist appointment three days after Christmas.  At the time I thought it would be a good idea to go to the endocrinologist after Christmas so that I put pressure on myself to keep my blood sugars in range during the holidays.  Yes, the plan worked but now comes the nerves the day before heading to a doctors appointment.  I'm asking myself all the normal questions, did I do enough to keep my A1C where I want it to be?  Did I test enough?  Are my blood sugars respectable when I'm on the bike or running?  I know the answers to each of those questions so I have nothing to worry about, that's like saying don't eat the cookies, no matter what you're going to eat the cookies!!!  Therefore I'm going to worry until my appointment at 5pm.

The funny thing is that I have put in the work and I have a very good idea of what my A1C will be tomorrow.  I'm just hoping that the number is what I expect, I like to put pressure on myself to be the best in anything that I do and after making the switch from the pump to injections and now back to the pump, a higher than normal number will not be acceptable.  The funny thing is even if my A1C is lower than what I expect I will push myself to be better.  The same thing happens after races, I always feel that I could do more.  I also put some more pressure on myself with all of the races that I have planned for 2019, if my A1C is a little high I will allow a little bit of doubt creep in.  The mind of an athlete living with diabetes is an interesting place sometimes.

At the end of the day however I can't complain, I'm living my dream and have never been happier.  The goals and dreams I have for the days, months and years ahead will not change because of my A1C tomorrow.  No matter the number I will be happy and will probably cry on the drive home because of where I am.  Coming up on twenty-nine years with diabetes will have me reflecting and realizing what I have done to get to this point.  My dreams never changed from the day I was diagnosed until now, it just took me a little while to figure out how to reach my dream. 

Sometimes things go wrong and we have no clue why. The past couple of months have been that way when it comes to my blood sugars. Two months back I went to injections and got better numbers for a couple weeks.


After that an odd bug got me, I could still workout and have a normal day but my blood sugars were out of range a lot. I was also dizzy and extremely tired for a couple weeks.


After that passed it was business as usual but the blood sugars weren’t where they need to be. I keep myself on a very tight blood sugar range, but having blood sugars out of range still isn’t good. I’m missing the consistency that I once had, I’m also nervous to take more insulin because of severe low blood sugars. One day I take more and I’m fine, the next I take more and I’m down around 50.


The thing is this is diabetes, it is a chess match. I can’t just get pissed and not care. Diabetes will always challenge you and has been challenging me since my diagnosis in 1990. Like anything it’s back to the drawing board and hard work. I will win!!

As the holidays approach I’m worried what my mothers amazing coconut macaroons will do to my blood sugar!! Not really, as I sit next to Kate at the doctor the thoughts of diabetes and our soon to be born son are on my mind. Kate is having her glucose test this morning, diabetes is on our minds more than ever today. Kate’s doctor doesn’t see any reason why she would have gestational diabetes but the worry is still there.

The question I’m asking myself is why am I worried. I know kate/we can handle it if she has gestational diabetes. We can also handle if Coconut is ever diagnosed with diabetes. The thing is I worry about it a lot more then I should. I mean everything I write on this website are truth and not cleaned up in any way to make things sound better then they actually are.

All i I know is living with diabetes, I know that I love it and I know that I can handle everything it throws at me. Out of range blood sugars in the middle of the nightor the run down feeling after a night of lower then average blood sugars. I know that I can handle all of it, I can tell my parents and Kate not to worry because I’m in control. They still worry and I can’t change that, they worry when I’m asleep or alone in Atlanta.

I worry that if Coconut ever has diabetes how will he handle it. I mean that is life, you can teach your child all of the right things to do, that doesn’t mean it will happen. The same goes for diabetes, my parents and many parents have done everything right but kids rebel. I didn’t want diabetes for years and didn’t take care of myself. I worry if Coconut has diabetes and gets picked on for it at school. I have been there, I know about the pain when you can’t have a piece of cake at a party because your blood sugar is out of range. People also try to over protect me and say “oh you can’t have that, it has to much sugar” even at 36 that comment hurts and brings some anger.

Again its life, Coconut will be dealing with stuff like that even if he doesn’t have diabetes. He will be fine, I’m just worried because all I know is life with diabetes. I don’t know how to care for someone with diabetes, I know how to motivate them and help them take control of their diabetes but not when it comes to a son or daughter. At the end of all of this all I can is that I have the best support group to help kate and I if Coconut has diabetes. The diabetes community is amazing and has the best caregivers ever. I know that I can always turn to them for help if we need it!!

In closing Coconut has been passing everything with flying colors so far and is a very healthy boy!! He will have a real name in a week, Coconut is a great name picked by Minnie and Sharky. Coconut will be his stage name!

The diabetes family is one that unlike any other in the world.  We complain together, we share our accomplishments with each other and we are always welcoming new family members with open arms.  When people reach out to the diabetes family for help the number of people that spring into action is phenomenal.  Social media has helped so many with diabetes, whenever I see a post or tweet asking for help I know that the person needing a helping hand is being well taken care of.  The greatness of the diabetes family was in full effect when the tweet below hit twitter..

What followed this tweet were almost two hundred messages supporting and willing to do all that they could to help this young man.  Currently the post has almost one hundred retweets and over one thousand likes.  Sure it is simple to hit a couple buttons to like or retweet something but that is the greatness of social media.  If no one cared enough to like or retweet this message no one would then go the extra mile to reach out and help this young man. 

Right around the same age I was in the same position as this young man and I took the wrong road.  I didn't ask for help, thinking I could live my life and put diabetes on the back burner.  It almost cost me my life, fifteen years later when I was almost thirty one person changed how I look at myself and my life with diabetes.  This person has been changing diabetes for people all over the world.  When I saw Phil Southerlands tweet to this young mans family I knew he was in great hands.  I then saw member after member of Team Novo Nordisk send their support to this young man and his family.

Sitting here, reflecting on these tweets and thinking about what will be in the future for this young man brings a big lump into my throat.  Diabetes will change your life and make you a better person because of it.  Diabetes teaches you that to be successful that you have to work your butt off, it's easy to say "I'll study for that test tomorrow" or "I can clean the house tomorrow" but diabetes teaches you that you can go that extra mile and do what you have too.  Diabetes doesn't let you wait or put something off until tomorrow.  That will help you so much when you're older and will help you now with whatever your love is.  I love running or being on the bike, it's easy to do that when it is 70 degrees and sunny outside.  When it is 20 degrees and I can only train from 530am to 630am I'd much rather be in bed sleeping then at the gym or out doing hill repeats.  The thing is, I do it.  You know why, diabetes has taught me that excuses are for losers because if you make excuses with diabetes you lose.  Phil Southerland says it best "Diabetes only chooses the champions"  

My message to this amazing young man with diabetes is "I have been where you are.  It is okay to say that it sucks and you hate it.  Get back up and keep fighting, we all have bad days.  I have had diabetes for almost thirty years, I still throw my meter when I don't like the blood sugar.  I swear when my blood sugar goes out of range on a run.  That lasts at most a minute, I know that diabetes is challenging me.  Always fight back, you are stronger then you know and nothing will ever stop you from achieving your goals!!  We are here for you and will take the time to answer any question that you have, you are not alone.  Together we can show diabetes whats possible and that we are champions!!"

If I had a dollar for every time that I was asked "How do you run and bike long distances with diabetes?" I'd be a rich rich man. The answer unfortunately is easy to answer but also isn't an answer. I can't tell you, the truth is that each person is different. What I do to run a 50k or bike 200 miles is totally different than what you would need to do.

I can provide tips however. Being an endurance athlete takes a lot of trial and error for someone that is not living with diabetes. For someone living with diabetes it is the exact same thing. I started to ride a road bike almost seven years ago. I thought there was nothing to when it came to my blood sugar. I jumped on my bike and twenty minutes later I was on the side of the road with a blood sugar that was below my set range. From there I was performing experiments, one day it worked the next day it didn't. I started small and didn't graduate to longer distances until I mastered the short rides. One secret I do have is that a one hour ride is a lot like a four hour ride for me. As long as I eat and drink every ten minutes I'm in good shape. That doesn't mean I'm riding with a perfect blood sugar at all times but it does mean my body can work to the best of its ability and my blood sugars are in range.

Another lesson I've learned is that what works on the bike doesn't work when I'm running. Three years ago I thought it would and now I have my own unique running game plan when it comes to running with diabetes. The truth is I have a lot of long distance races in 2017 and to be honest I don't know what to do. Yes I've done a 30k but what about the next 20k how will my body change. For many that's annoying, for me it's the challenge and that's what I love. If it were easy I'd be bored and wouldn't want to do it. For anyone looking to run or bike with diabetes you will be challenged, it's not for everyone but if you want it bad enough you'll find a way.

On a warm and blustery early December evening I sit at my desk pondering what the 2019 Racing Schedule will look like.  As the temperature sits at 40 degrees but with highs not getting above 40 the rest of the week all I can think about is being on trails next spring.  Below you will notice nothing but running events, the diabetic cyclist is still a cyclist but is learning he is a little more competitive at trail/endurance running.  Does that mean I have a career as runner?  I have no idea, I know I love the trails, the pain, and the mental workout that endurance running brings me before, during and after any race.  

I feel the strongest I have ever been even though I now look like I might blow away on night when winds are gusting up to 50mph.  Gone is the extra weight in my midsection and with that I now look like a runner/cyclist.  I can feel the difference running and on the bike.  I have learned how to breath and what true pain really is, any trail race that has you collapse at the end will do wonders for your mind.  Below I have broken the races down in to three categories, the usuals and the crazy races, and I've Lost It.  As always all of these races being run depend on my health as an athlete and as a diabetic.  Oh and life plays a tiny part in if I'm able to race as well, Coconut comes first and over the next week or so you will learn more about him!!

Clamdigger 5 Mile Race
Rhode Island State Police 5k
Mystic Half Marathon
The Oceans Run Half Marathon
Twilight Trail Run

Kettletown State Park 50k
Charfield Hollow Trail Challenge 30k
The North Face Endurance Challenge 50k
Bank of America Chicago Marathon

JFK 50 MILE