Who doesn't like to get packages in the mail?!?! When the package is supplies for my pump I get that same excited feeling.  After a week without my continuous glucose monitoring, someone (me) forgot to reorder supplies before they ran out!! Today when I got home I opened the package immediately and setup the sensor before I did anything else. 

The CGM setup is not to bad at all, in the picture above you can see the CGM and the size.  In the picture the CGM is obviously inserted in to the midsection, I have heard nothing but bad things about using this location.  I have seen people with medical tape to hold it in place, people complain that it falls out and that it hurts in that location.  I'm different as we all know and I put the sensor on the upper part of one of my butt cheeks.  (Sorry no photo of my sensor, I tried but I'm sure people don't want to see my butt.) More than people need to know but I have found that boxers do an amazing job of keeping the sensor in place.  I have yet to have it fall out and I honestly forget that I have it on.  When cycling or working the sensor comes along and is never a concern.  I have shared my location secret with fellow diabetics and get odd looks but I also gets hugs and thank yous a week later once they have tried it.  The technology we have is amazing we just need to experiment a bit and find the best location on our bodies for it to work. 

I often get teased for the foods that I eat.  My diet consists of a lot of fiber, fruit, vegetables, and grains.  The most common question that I'm asked is "Are you eating bird food?"  99% of the time the person will receive an answer like "Yes, I have always wanted to fly and I figured this may help."  For the past year or so I have had trouble finding dinner recipes that call for quinoa or millet.  I often times would combine those grains with vegetables and maybe add some hot sauce for flavor.  Over time the meals became bland and I was losing interest in the grains for that reason.

I recently stumbled upon a website called Eating Bird Food When I first found the site I was relieved that I'm not the only weird person that enjoys eating odd foods.  Once I got past the initial shock I explored the website and found amazing recipes!!!  Last night I made the Southwestern Quinoa, I added black beans and some agave nectar to the recipie and I was amazed at the taste.  I had some leftover and ate it for lunch and it tasted just as good.  I got some odd looks from coworkers but once I told them it wasn't going to hurt them a few tried the dish and admitted that it wasn't that bad.  Wasn't that bad translates to I liked it when your with a group of guys. 

I encourage everyone to checkout the website, the creator Brittany Mullins is amazing and I can't thank her enough for all of the amazing recipes.  I can't wait to try them all!!!

After a week of feeling like crap and going to a few doctors I would like to think that the old me is back.  I still have an echo stress test to see if everything is really better but I have felt great all weekend.  I have my energy back and it feels great, today I cleaned the house and didn't feel tired once!!  Strange how I judge my health by how I clean but ever since my surgery I have become OCD with my diabetes, work and cleaning the house.  I actually enjoy cleaning the house and just feel better when everything is clean.  For the past month when I would clean it would be a room at time.  I'd clean the kitchen and I would have to sit down or take a nap.  Today that was not the case and I'm so happy.

This weekend my blood sugars have been a little strange but to be honest I don't mind.  Seeing odd high blood sugars means that my body is probably fighting an infection.  When I saw 290 around 9am all weekend I didn't mind, I was mad at the high blood sugar but I was happy to see that a quick correction bolus worked in about an hour.  By lunch time I was right around 90 all weekend.  As always I will keep an eye on my blood sugar at 9am to see if this is a new strange spike or just my body getting rid of something.

I'm looking forward to a night of the Olympics with some close friends and for now being back to normal.  But I'm also very excited to go to the grocery store and get the weekly shopping done, I'm odd and enjoy that for some reason.  I'm a very strange person and I'm glad that I'm back to my normal, crazy, hyper, OCD self!!!

A couple of months ago I wrote about how I wanted to see a Muppet on Sesame Street that had diabetes.  Today the wonderful people from Sesame Street responded to my email.


Dear Ryan,

Thank you for writing to us and sharing your experience. Sesame Street's curriculum focuses on new topics every few years, and while we do not have any immediate plans to address diabetes on our programming, we will certainly keep it in mind for the future. Best wishes and have a sunny day!


Although diabetes may not make it to Sesame Street because of my email I believe if more people write and demand diabetes to be on the show somehow it will be done.  Heres to hoping Elmo can teach children about diabetes.

Today brought nothing but exhaustion, I have been tired all day long.  When I arrived home from work a little before 4pm I was fried, I had a bow of Cheerios and passed out.  I love naps but not naps that last three hours, that is not a nap that is a wasted of time.  The worst part is I'm still tired.  My wife and I had a nice night planned with some friends and I was in no shape physically or mentally to go out.  That has brought some anger and your in luck because you get to read about it if you would like.

Why?? That is the first question I asked myself, I have been eating the right things and on the bike like it is my job.  Why do I feel like garbage, why is that I eat all the right things and was in the best shape of my life and here comes some random thing that is taking my sanity.  Do I deserve this for all the bad I did for so long, yes but the people close to me do not.  I have been willing myself to do things for a month so I can hide that I don't feel well and now that is not working.  I want to enjoy my summer rituals with my wife, I want to ride my bike to the local sunflower festival and then enjoy the rest of the day with her eating ice cream and going on a hay ride to see sunflowers.  I can still do that minus the bike part but I don't want that tired feeling while I do.  I want to play golf tomorrow and not be exhausted, I don't know if that will happen.  I want to be better so I can enjoy the rituals that my wife and I have.

Things will get better, they always do.  As I say when I'm on the bike, every hill or mountain you climb has to go back down.  You have to struggle to get to the top but once your at the top the ride down is well worth the effort you put in to get to the top.  I'm in a good place and I love my life but the negative creeps in sometimes and gets everyone down.  For me I always try to find things that make me laugh and the video below has done just that for the past week.  Enjoy and have a good laugh.

Not much to report as far as news this evening.  I will be having a stress echo test in the coming days to determine the strength of my heart and valves.  I'm feeling good but wish I had the results of the blood work.  All in time though.

The best part of the day was going to the doctor.  As I have said many times before the doctor is only as good as the patient.  If you go in with a bad mindset the doctor will always be "bad" in your eyes.  As I entered the office I was calm and trusted the doctor.  What followed was a half hour conversation between my wife, the doctor, and myself.  One minor hiccup was that I forgot to tell the doctor I was a diabetic for the first ten minutes we talked.  He asked all kinds of questions and it wasn't until my wife said "shouldn't you tell him your a diabetic?" that I brought up my diabetes.  I'm so use to filling out paperwork and putting down that I'm a diabetic and the doctor knowing before hand that I totally forgot to bring it up.  I was very impressed with the doctors knowledge of my pump and my disease as a whole.  It made me feel really good, I felt like I was talking to a friend, I could be myself and not worry about how I looked in the doctors eyes.  I'm glad that the appointment went well and I'm looking forward to figuring out what is going on in my body. 

Today I finally had enough and decided that it was time to call the doctor and get everything looked at.  After an EKG and some basic tests I was told that the six second EKG showed a Premature ventricular contraction or PVC.  That means that tomorrow I get to go see a Cardiologist.  Obviously I will know a lot tomorrow.  After going to the doctor it was off to the hospital for some blood work to check for Lyme, Anemia, and a check of my thyroid.

Special thanks to my wife and a good friend who gave me that kick in the butt to get to the doctor.  This is a total guy statement but I'm mad that I can't ride my bike until everything is figured out.  Yes I'm worried about what is going on but I want my bike and I want the single mindedness of riding.  This feeling will go away once I truly know my diagnosis but I'm not going to worry about things I don't know.  If I did that then I would worry about crossing the street or stepping outside because I may get hit by a car or get hit by a meteor.

Until tomorrows doctors appointment it will be business as usual.  I will slow down a bit at work but I plan on enjoying the day and whatever it brings.  I feel that this blog needs a my favorite Snow Patrol song to make me feel a little better!!

I'm not one for the movies, I would much rather sit at home and watch a ballgame or a show on the history channel.  I have never been one for movies, the only movies I do like are true stories and war movies.  Even it is a movie I might like going to the theater is not high on my list of fun activities.  To many people, weird teenage couples doing who knows what in the seats, babies crying and sticky floors make the movies a place I stay away from.

So why the movie night?  The truth is I have wanted to see Ted since I saw a commercial for it.  Also next week will be a week of hell at work so I figure I should kiss my Leannes butt this week to get my share of brownie points.  Honestly though I just need a change, I need to get out and enjoy a night at the movies.  My hope is that the Ted craze has gone away and that we are with some really cute old couple in the theater.  I know I'm 29 going on 65 but I'm ok with that.

Diabetes wise the movies shouldn't be a problem, I plan on getting a diet coke and having a handful of popcorn.  If I don't make eye contact with my favorite candy friend Mr. Kit Kat I should be fine.  Off to the movies and off to enjoy a nice evening with Leanne. 

An uneventful day but still feeling the same as yesterday.  I woke up and had my usual early morning energy, had a blood sugar of 97 and believed the day would go well.  For a good portion of the day I played golf with my father, a good friend and my friends father.  I was very surprised  at how well I played seeing that it was the first time in almost a year that I played eighteen holes.  I was able to shoot an 86 and other than a couple holes where I felt "off" I had a great time and enjoyed the laid back day on the course.

The highlight of the day was getting a burst of energy around 6:30 this evening that got me to do some cleaning.  That lasted all of thirty minutes before I felt tired and had a low blood sugar feeling.  I tested and was 160, I figured heck I'm 160 and I'm tired of being tired so I'll do some more work.  Ten minutes later I was spent and sitting down watching television.  Again I don't know what is up with me but I'm giving it one more day before I act.  A couple of phone calls will be made to doctors to get an idea of what is going on and then I will go from there.  

As a diabetic and as a cyclist I question every little thing that goes on in my body.  I have constant pains in my right shoulder and many times during the day I will have to push  on my clavicle to crack it to make it feel better.  Often times my right ring finger will go numb for whatever reason.  I figure that is all from surgery and I need to deal with it.  But other little things often make me worry what the heck is going on in my body.  A while back I spoke about my excessive gas, humorous yes but honestly why is it there?  I don't know but it worries me.

Then I have days like today that make me feel like something is really wrong.  For the entire month of July I have been exhausted, I don't know if it is work and life taking its toll.  I have taken naps after work lately, I haven taken a nap after work since before my surgery and not taking care of myself.  This morning when I returned home from work I headed right to bed, I slept a good eight to nine hours the night before.  When I awoke around noon I returned to work to check a few things and then went for a bike ride.  As I rode early on I felt great, towards the end of the ride I felt like garbage.  My legs hurt and I was tired again.  This was a simple one hour ride, not something I should be sore or tired from.  At church this evening I had a good ten minutes where I was sweating and in a daze, nothing major but enough to worry me.  My wife and I decided to grab dinner after church and I was not myself.  I wanted to be happy and have fun but my body wanted no part of it, I'm not sure how to describe how I acted but I will say it was like I was consciously sedated.  When we returned home I laid in bed and the feeling returned.

My blood sugars have been normal all day and for most of July, I don't know if tonight was just an off day or if something is going on.  I don't know what is going on but I'm getting to the point where I want to have blood taken and to be tested for everything imaginable.  Tomorrow I'm positive that I will be awake at 6am and feel great and ready for the day.  This feeling comes and goes but I'd love to know if it is just life or something more.

For the past two summers my job has become more enjoyable due to the fact that I have a diabetic coworker.  He may be ten years younger than me but when it comes to diabetes the age gap is nonexistent.  Just the other day I saw him drinking a regular soda at break and jokingly said "diabetics can't drink regular soda!!"  When he turned and saw that I had my own soda he laughed and asked "How low are you?"  My coworkers have a great understanding of my disease but I can't have diabetic humor with them.  Having another diabetic on the crew is like having a twin.

Last summer I felt like I was back in middle school and was scared to talk to the cool kid because he may not like you.  At the age of 28 I was scared to talk to a 17 year old because I wasn't sure if he embraced his diabetes.  As the summer went by we would test in front of each other hoping that the other person would open the lines of diabetes communication.  Towards the end of the summer the nervous diabetes tension left and we built a good friendship.  While coaching at the high school I would always see him and make it a point to say something to him.  As this summer began the relationship started to grow stronger, everyday at lunch one of us will ask the other "what was your blood sugar?"  Whoever has the blood sugar closer to 100 has bragging rights for the next 24 hours.

As elder diabetic I feel that I need to have that diabetic heart to heart with him.  The truth is he was the model high school diabetic but when he begins college in the fall will he continue the great control and discipline he has had for long.  I feel that I need to ask that question, I'm sure he has questions and fears.  Although I was the worst college diabetic I feel that I can help in someway.  Doctors are great but getting advice about parties and college life from them is tough, I believe we all feel that we are getting the professional answer and not the real human answer.  That is where I feel I can help, it wasn't that long ago that I was in that situation.  Now that I have control of my disease I can put myself in his shoes and understand where the question is coming from.  The best thing is that I can be honest, I can tell him my mistakes without upsetting anyone.

I feel bad that I can't release any information about the meeting that I had this afternoon but rest assured that things are headed in the right direction.  The meeting went very well and I believe all parties involved will be very happy once a few of the details are tweaked just a bit.

Diabetes wise my body did very well during the meeting.  I was a little worried because I was on such a high that my blood sugars would be all over the place while the meeting was taking place.  Before the meeting I had a blood sugar of 164 which I was very happy with.  At the end of the meeting I was down to 90, then the fun started.  My blood sugar sky rocketed around 5pm just thirty minutes after I left the meeting.  My blood sugar was at 260 and has been hanging around the 230 range since.  I had a small grinder from subway and took a little extra insulin to get down to 100 but I have had no luck.  Not sure what is going on with my body but I believe stress had something to do with it.

Tomorrow I could realize a dream that I have had for over three years now.  I don't want to jinx myself by talking about the details of the dream.  Being at the doorstep of a dream is very nerve racking but at the same time it is a huge adrenaline rush.  The best thing that comes out of this dream is that it will help so many.  After my surgery and hearing how I shouldn't be alive I dedicated myself to living a better life and making life better for others.  By having this blog and speaking to diabetics all over New England I get to give back and that makes me so happy.  When your told you shouldn't be alive you look at things a little different, I quickly learned that life is not about what car you drive or what clothes you wear.  Money is nice but at the end of the day I would trade everything that I have to make life better for others.

Dreams are what make life worth living.  I can't tell you the number of times that people told me that my dream won't become a reality.  The truth is dreams are your own, if you want something bad enough you will find a way to get.  I have been blessed to have two people that helped me when I was ready to give up on my dream.  One is my wife, I could write all night about how great she is.  To read about how much she means to me you can read this past blog dedicated to her http://diabetic-cyclist.weebly.com/1/post/2012/05/riding-for-my-wife.html The other person who has helped me is Jamin Reda, I believe I have a passion for diabetes but this guy takes it to another level.  He has been the that will meet with me and build me up when I feel that my dream is falling apart.  If I had not met him last fall at the Boston diabetes walk this dream would be just that a dream.  With his help this dream will be a reality.

I look forward to releasing the dream information in tomorrows blog.  I feel good that it will become a reality but if it does not I'm not giving up.  I will go back to the drawing board and find some way to make it a reality.  In closing I have to put a quote from Harry Chapin that describes dreams.

"I could tell you that I get asked a lot of times
How I can change the world I've also have been asked a lot of times
How I can be a rock and roll singer
And do you see what's on the end of my fingers?
Calluses and what that means is
If you're willing to play the guitar night in, night out
For audiences of three people when you're coming up
And finding that even your mother says, "Ppp, it doesn't sound very good"
The point is very simple if you care enough you can have an impact
Because in the long run we're not sure about a prior life
Or an after life, we're all hoping for that
But what we can do is maximize
What we have in this brief flicker of time
In the infinity and and try to milk that
And be hungry in a different kind of way
Hungry for experience, hungry for meaning
And you can be terribly, terribly effective if you want to be"

With temperatures expected to be in the low 90s and the feel like temperatures close to 100 I decided I would ride my bike to work to beat the heat.  I had no problems riding, the humidity actually felt nice while I rode.  Once I start sweating I go to this next level.  Sweat gets my adrenaline pumping, don't ask me why but I love it.

The fun started as I began work just after 7am.  With the hot weather it was important to get all of the grass cut early before the real heat kicked in.  I figured I would be mowing greens which we do by hand, when I mow greens I walk about five miles and my blood sugar is always around 90 when I finish.  When I was told that I would be mowing fairways I knew that my blood sugar would sky rocket.  When mowing fairways I'm sitting down, I can't complain I very much so enjoyed sitting all morning.  I had only taken one unit of insulin to cover the bagel thin and peanut butter I ate after my ride.  I quickly put in six units when I found out that I was sitting all morning.

My blood sugar would quickly raise to 240 by 8am.  I knew this would happen but I was still angry.  By 10 I was down to 130 and all was back to normal.  It just goes to show you how one little change can make things crazy for a good three to four hours. 

With temperatures in the low 90s and a high humidity it was not a great day to be out on the golf course.  I made sure to drink plenty of water and I would seek shade for a little bit every hour.  For a majority of the day I was sitting down which was nice but the heat and humidity was still no fun.  Before lunch I had a blood sugar of 84, I took 3.2 units of insulin and enjoyed my lunch.  My lunch weighed in at 63 carbohydrates so taking 3.2 units should have covered everything perfectly and left me with a blood sugar in the range of 100-120 around 3pm.  At 3pm I felt a little off, I was very angry and to be perfectly honest I had no reason to be mad.  My pump read 83 but I decided to test because the pump is a little off when I do get low.  When I tested my blood sugar was 53, I quickly grabbed a packet of Level and a soda.  I grabbed the soda for the quick sugar, the level would cover keeping me above 100 until dinner.

The reading of 53 surprised me because I didn't do anything all afternoon.  I don't think I realized how much the heat and humidity would affect my body.  I have the luxury of having a diabetic coworker, I decided to ask him how his blood sugar was after lunch.  When I asked him he gave me that look like why whats wrong.  I explained I was low and had not done much all afternoon.  He laughed and said that he was 59 around 2pm.  I laughed and asked him how good was the soda.  He responded with it was great but I want a soda when I'm not low. 

Today was just another day as a diabetic.  I may think I know what I'm doing diabetes wise but my body and nature will always control my blood sugar.

When I decided to start blogging in January I figured that it would be a form of self help.  I thought that it would be nice to get my diabetes feelings out and that maybe a handful of people would read it here and there.  What I have gotten is close to one hundred daily readers, people all over the world.  I love getting emails telling me that someone has left a comment.  I never imagined that other people had the same worries or experiences that I do as a diabetic.

The most surprising part of having this website has been the number of family members that have come up and said how they enjoy reading my blog each day.  A lot of people never knew how much work goes in to being a diabetic.  Also a lot of people never knew how much damage I had done to myself in the past.  This weekend I had a number of people come up and say that they could not believe how great I looked and that they find my story remarkable.

From Aunt Fran to the gentleman that emailed me from Japan, I can't thank everyone enough for what you have done for me.  I love hearing the stories of others succeeding because they visited my site and found that motivation that they needed.  I also love hearing that people living without diabetes have decided to make a difference in the diabetes community.  As diabetics we can't fight this disease alone, we need the support of husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, co-workers, and neighbors.

For some reason I still can't believe the "new" life that I'm living.  This "new" life is now three years old but this evening I really started to see the changes that I have made.  With a number of family parties this weekend the food choices for a diabetic have not been the best.  I have become so conscious about what I eat that I often eat a meal before hand that is more beneficial to me as a diabetic.  In no way am I saying that I'm angry about this, I'm just very surprised at how easy it has been to make healthier food choices. 

This evening I made a bowl of pasta with vegetables before heading off to a birthday party around six.  At the party I allowed my self one square of pizza and a small dessert.  Having that little bit of food made me feel great, I wasn't sitting back having a pity party because I couldn't eat the food that was offered.  I was able to enjoy the food and enjoy the party.  What would have happened if I didn't eat before heading to the party?  I would have had way to much food and would not have enjoyed myself, after eating I would have been mad because I cancelled out the bike ride I completed earlier in the day by eating bad food.

Getting to this point has not been easy at all, like anything it took a lot of work and a lot of self discipline.  My wife has also been a huge help, she will be the one who checks what will be available food wise.  I know I say this a lot but my wife is one amazing person, I can't thank her enough for all she does. 

As I get closer to accomplishing one goal, I have already begun to think about whats next.  I have thought about writing this blog for a while now, as everyone knows I have an obsession with Lance Armstrong and that has made me more aware of the Livestrong Foundation.  The truth is that I'm obsessed with the Livestrong Foundation not Lance Armstrong the athlete.  What Lance has done for cancer patients is remarkable, the amount of work the foundation has done for people living with cancer is out of this world.  Personally I have had people in my life affected by cancer and I know how tough it is for not only the patient but also the family and friends of the patient. 

Diabetics don't have the media coverage that the Livestrong Foundation has, is it because we don't have a multi million dollar athlete living with diabetes?  No, in fact diabetics have a few of those.  I believe the difference is that the Livestrong Foundation makes it personal.  I follow the Livestrong Foundation on YouTube and have included a video that tells the story of a cancer survivor.  The Livestrong page has hundreds of videos just like this.  Diabetics have very little when it comes to personal videos and stories.  How do we fix this problem? It is very simple, a diabetic organization could ask for diabetics to write their story and submit it to the organization.  Then the diabetic organization picks a handful of people and puts together a short film.

I know my story the best so I will use that for an example.  I explain my diagnosis when I was eight, explain my ten years of diabetes denial and then my fight back to life.  I have yet to accomplish anything really news worthy but I'm almost positive that a diabetic somewhere in the world could relate and seeing my video or another diabetics video will give that extra fight that they need to overcome their fears.

All diabetics get down and have bad days.  My goal this evening was to try and find motivating pictures to share.  Google was no help at all.  What I found was very little.  I'm just happy that I'm a fan of Team Type 1 on Facebook.  They often put up great pictures that motivate me, I often set the pictures as the wallpaper on my computer.

It's weird how I looked for diabetes motivational pictures and after an hour of looking I found very few and found that I was getting mad.  My plan backfired, I wanted to find pictures of children with diabetes doing normal kid things.  I wanted to find a senior citizen who has had diabetes for fifty years riding a bike.  Maybe I'm on to something maybe I can make diabetes art.  Sounds like a challenge!!!

Today my blood sugars we're not normal.  My average for the day was at 151 and I took 45 units of insulin.  Usually I average around 125 and 36 units of insulin, so why the changes today?  The answer was easy to find once I changed my pump site, a couple hours after changing the insulin and site my sugars were right back to normal levels.  I believe that the insulin had gone bad due to the warm temperatures.  Being out in the sun for 12 hours a day probably spoils the insulin a lot sooner.  I'm always in the sun and if I'm not at work I'm on the bike.  I do my best to keep my shirt over my pump to give it some shade but I doubt that it helps much.  Fixing this problem should not be much of a hassle, rather than waiting till I have 20 units left in the reservoir I will change the site when I have 40 units left or I will put less insulin in to the reservoir so that I will have to change the pump site sooner.  I'm not to happy when things don't go as planned but I'm glad that this problem had an easy fix.