The past week has been very emotional, from celebrating my 25th diabetes diagnosis too putting in my two week notice at the only job I have ever known.  A lot of tears have slowly rolled down my cheeks, some on Easter as I watched my children have their first Easter egg hunt and some while I sat in my man cave unsure what would bring next.  That's life, I have always been told that if things are always going well then you're probably not living life to the fullest.  

Each night I watch maybe a half hour of television before falling asleep, most of the time it is some kind of sport or a show on PBS talking about World War II.  The other night while Leanne was in the living room doing work I noticed that E:60 was on ESPN2.  For those that don't know about E:60, it is a sports news show that tells about the lives of athletes.  (My dream is to have Team Novo Nordisk on this show!!)  Often times the show will bring me to tears because of the stories they tell, that night I needed a good cry and decided to watch the E:60 show entitled '20 Years and 11 Seconds'.  Knowing what the story was about I knew that the episode would be very emotional.  I will not go in to detail about the show but have provided the segment below.  

Life is the best in the world.  We have our good days and our bad, we have the people that we love and the people we can't stand.  We have people that have changed the world and we have people that motivate us to do amazing things with our lives.  Travis Roy is a true inspiration for everyone, after watching the video below I ask that you visit the Travis Roy website to learn even more about this amazing person.  I also ask you to visit the Travis Roy Foundation page, if you can make a donation that would be great.  The money goes to a truly great foundation that does all that it can to help individuals with spinal cord injuries.  Travis Roy has indirectly helped me with my life, the least I can do is make a donation to help him help others.

For many of us returning to where we went to High School brings back a wave of emotions.  Many of us dread it, some can't wait to see the school and remember moments that brought them so much joy.  Today and tomorrow I have the honor of going back to high school and sharing my diabetes story with the current students. 

As I walked through the main entrance and towards the room where I would be speaking I got hit with that famous "What If"  What if I was taking care of myself and not lying to everyone around me about my diabetes?  Where would I be? What would my high school days have been like?  I don't know the answers and I can't go back and change what has happened so as soon as I had those thoughts they were gone just as quickly.  I had a much more important task at hand, making hundreds of high school teenagers care about diabetes and what I was saying for one hour.  It would probably be easier to swim to London, I have a small history of speaking so I headed in to the room with a lot of nerves and a little confidence.  Just be myself and tell my story.

It is no secret that I'm a big kid and that I have never stopped smiling since I got my life back almost seven years ago.  I figured that if I was to get through to the students that I needed to be a kid and not a teacher.  I figured it works while coaching so it has to work while speaking to them.  I had fun and tried my best to keep everyone involved, I had the definition of diabetes up on the powerpoint and told everyone that they needed to write it down because they would be tested on what I was talking about.  As they began to reach for their notebooks I started laughing and said "You won't need your notebooks, I just wanted to see how many people I could piss off... My story is all truth and if I do my job you will know more about diabetes than you could from any book that has definitions"  With that I had them, I would rattle off terms like temp basal, A1C, and Keytones while giving real examples and I like to believe that they got it.  I shared my story, all of the bad and all of the good that the past seven years has brought.  My second to last slide read "Why should you care?"  Odds are only a handful of people in that will room will ever live with diabetes, yes they may know someone living with diabetes and they have a small idea of what the disease is about and how an insulin pump works but my selling point was that my story is about life.  In high school people are trying to do nothing but fit in with the people that they believe are cool, the people with the best clothes, phones or cars.  Wanting to be cool is what made me hate diabetes, I wanted to fit in and it almost cost me my life.  I would go on to tell them that whatever they were passionate is what is cool.  It's ok to have a passion for something that not everyone likes or understands.  I have a disease a lot of people don't understand and I love a sport that is not even on the radar for top ten sports in the United States and for six years I have been doing amazing things with both.  With that my speech was over, I received a decent ovation and the questions would start.  I received a lot of questions that covered every aspect of my story but as they left if the students stopped and wanted to talk or say "Thank You" than I know I got through to them.

I'm happy to report that a good number of students walked by saying thank you and a handful took the time to talk to me personally.  Tomorrow I get to do it all over again and I can't wait, I can only hope to reach the students tomorrow like I reached the students today!!

I have been living with diabetes for twenty five years, I never thought I would be able to make that statement. Yesterday was a very emotional day for me, my family and close friends. I found myself having random emotional moments, I was reflecting on my past and crying because I owe my life to diabetes.

Diabetes has taught me how to live, how to enjoy each and every single minute of everyday. This is scary to type but because of diabetes I wake up truly happy to be alive. When I wasn't taking care of myself or my diabetes I don't know how or why I woke up. Now I do all that I can to keep my blood sugar in range and get nervous going to bed some nights because I'm in range but on the lower end. Improper management of diabetes can lead to death, and I didn't care about my diabetes for ten years. I think about that everyday, I was playing Russian roulette and somehow "won". I realize how lucky I am to be alive and that is what has made my life so special.

Diabetes has taught me how to love every moment in my life. When team novo Nordisk members like one of my blog posts I take a screenshot on my phone. I save every bib from any race that I compete in, I also save the medals and hang both in the stairway to the basement/man cave in our house. I go for runs or bike rides and smile, I enjoy the views and being outside. I love when my son or daughter do amazing things which to most are normal milestones. I love when my wife sends me a random text saying she loves me. I love being able to call my mom and dad to just say hi or to pick on them because the New England Patriots lost. I save newspaper articles about the basketball team I help coach because the students are like children of my own. I could continue this list for days!! The point is that I enjoy life and below are a lot of my saved pictures or screenshots that I look at daily so that I can smile.

A special thank you to each and every person that liked my post on Facebook yesterday, it made me smile each time I saw someone new like the post. Thank you to everyone that has followed my blog, I try my best to help you each day by posting a blog, but you have helped me. Thank you to everyone in my life, you make life great. Finally thank you diabetes for teaching me how to live life to the fullest. I love you and all that you have done for me!!

On Saturday Team Novo Nordisk rode in the 107th edition of Milan-San Remo, aka "The Spring Classic".  180 riders would finish the race, six members of Team Novo Nordisk finished the course which covered 293 kilometers.  Team Novo Nordisk member Andrea Peron would garner attention from the media as he and ten other riders broke away from the field to lead the race until the last 25 kilometers.  Many may say that "He didn't win the race so what is the big deal?"  Out of a field that consisted of almost 200 riders to be in the lead group for a majority of the race is incredible for all eleven men that did so.  For Andrea Peron and Team Novo Nordisk it solidifies their spot in the cycling world, members of Team Novo Nordisk will fight like hell to win any race that they enter.  To read the official race report from Team Novo Nordisk please click here. 

As always Team Novo Nordisk is an inspiration for myself and the millions living with diabetes all over the globe.  Saturday morning I was in a Brooklyn hotel getting ready to run the NYC Half Marathon.  I would set my alarm for 5am Saturday so that I could wakeup and watch Milan-San Remo on my phone, I wanted to see the members of Team Novo Nordisk racing against the best cyclists in the world.  Seeing Andrea Peron get in the break was amazing and caused goosebumps as he settled in with ten other riders.  Without ever meeting or interviewing any member of the pro team I feel as though they are my brothers.  Team Novo Nordisk and I have a few things in common, we have diabetes, we race with diabetes (they're a little better than me however) and we fight like hell to do our best in every facet of life.  

I'm an odd guy, each night before I read to my son or daughter I play them a short film.  These films are usually a minute to five minutes long.  It is my way to hold my son or daughter and explain to them what I know best, one night it might be basketball another night it might be an old goofy cartoon.  I'm not sure why I started doing this but I feel as though it is my attempt to having a lasting memory with my children.  One that they will talk about when they are teenagers and missing those days of being a young child.  Tonight I showed them the video below...

 As that was playing and I was holding our twenty-three month old son he said "bikes".  At that moment a tear came to my eye, being almost two all he knows about the video is the bikes and that's fine.  The tear that was rolling down my cheek wasn't because he said bikes it was because I have worried for almost two years about how to explain diabetes to my son and daughter.  That video gave me hope, that video is the best way to tell my children and other people that ask "Why are you so passionate about cycling and why do you always wear Team Novo Nordisk kits when you are on the bike?"  The answer is very simple, Team Novo Nordisk is an inspiration because they are proving that no matter the odds anything is possible.  To those that say I can't do something I say I can because a team of cyclists that heard time and time again that they couldn't race professionally with diabetes are doing so each and every day.  The world has seen what Team Novo Nordisk is doing and everyone is inspired by a team made up of riders living with diabetes.  BBC Two's Victoria Derbyshire proves this with another great piece on Team Novo Nordisk.  I can promise you that the video in that link will be shown to my children in the coming days.  As the Spring and Summer months approach I walk with a little bit of a bigger smile knowing that Team novo Nordisk will be racing all over the globe to inspire, educate and empower people affected by diabetes.

it amazes me that I get so worried about things that I'm in control of. After Wednesday's post I was nervous about spending twelve hours watching basketball and around unhealthy food. As you can tell from the photo above yesterday was a special day!! When you have the knowledge and put it in the work the results will follow.

My diet consisted of an omelette, 3 slices of pizza, 3 beers, a pretzel, and a few skittles. That diet is far from the norm, it's obviously not diabetes friendly or athlete friendly but for one day it was and it worked out. After passing one test I'm now sitting in a Brooklyn hotel getting ready for the NYC half marathon on Sunday morning. Being on the road and sticking to a very strict diet is difficult but possible.

With th a chance of snow Sunday morning the half marathon could be very interesting. I will be ready for whatever the day brings and will be ready to run. Getting hydrated and having a ton of pasta is the plan for the next two days.

Ever since I was a kid it has been my dream to attend any part of the NCAA Basketball Tournament.  Before running and cycling were my life it was basketball that ruled my sports world.  Each March when I was a child I would beg my mother or father to move the car or truck so that I could play basketball in the driveway.  Once the car was moved I would play "the tournament" in my driveway, I'd have the bracket with me and setup last minute scenarios to try and predict each game.  For example the 8 seed might be down 3 versus the nine seed, I'd have the ball as the nine seed and try my best to score against an imaginary defense.  Whoever won my imaginary game I would pick in my bracket.  I was a very special child.

Tomorrow I will be attending four NCAA tournament games in Providence.  I'm beyond excited and can't wait to attend one of the greatest sports tournaments in the world.  I will enjoy the games, I will have some food I shouldn't (pizza, burgers, fries, etc.) and I will have a few beers with my buddy as we wait for the second session of games.  Sounds like a perfect day, it will be a perfect day but I will be doing my best to keep my blood sugar in range while enjoying the games and food I very rarely eat.  The buddy that I'm going to the games with knows all about my diabetes and how passionate I am about keeping my blood sugar in range.  He is honestly the only one (besides Leanne) that is allowed to ask me how my blood sugar is.  He will be happy that I have my CGM on and will give me a very hard time if my blood sugar is below or above my set range.  He will also keep an eye on my beer intake, I rarely drink so two beers will have me feeling good.  

I will be in good hands tomorrow, I will be putting pressure on myself to stay in range and will be getting pressure from a friend to be in range.  This will not take away my enjoyment of the day or the games.  If I didn't care about my blood sugars tomorrow I wouldn't have fun, I passionate about basketball and my diabetes.  That passion will allow me to be at my best diabetes wise and at the end of the day that is all that matters, not the basketball games!!

In one week I will have completed the New York City Half Marathon, my fifteenth half marathon in three years.  I will be greeted at the finish line by my coach who will praise my accomplishment no matter my time.  It has taken me almost three years to find a running partner and coach.  Leanne has the running brain in our family (cross country and track runner all four years of high school and college, all state runner) and often times helps me when I have questions but she is not my coach.  I have searched for coaches online and talked to many great ones that could take me to that next level as a runner, that next level is running a half around 1:35:00, my PR right now is just over 1:45:00.  If I was 22 and didn't have a life or a family I would jump at the opportunity to have a top of the line coach.  I'm at a point as an athlete where I want to PR but life is more important.  Training rides or runs get postponed if family adventures come up, family is my life, I run and ride a bike to live and to manage my diabetes.  I need a coach that understands all of that, and I believe I found him.

My coach was one heck of a lineman in football, playing in high school and in college.  He has taken up running over the past year or so and is hoping to run his first half marathon this fall.  With that said many may be wondering how he could be my coach.  Like I said I run to live, I want to enjoy it and this coach makes sure that I'm smiling and laughing while racing.  I have known Jared Fisher since high school and am just now realizing how special of a guy he is, he understands life and knows that we all need to enjoy it because no one gets out of it alive.  On training runs with him I'm laughing and having fun, I know that he will be yelling some ridiculous Seinfeld or Simpsons quote as I hit mile six of the half marathon.  That childish humor is what makes him a great person and a great coach. 

It is not all fun and games however, he will be motivating me and giving me a tough time while I race.  He knows what is possible and wants to see me succeed.  The sign of any great coach is respect from ones athletes, I have nothing but respect for Mr. Fisher and I'm honored that he will be with me this weekend when I race in New York.  

Also anyone that is running in the New York City half marathon would like to meet up please let me know.  I'm always looking to me other great athletes living with diabetes!!

I WISH...
• I could exercise without the fear of going low I wish I could predict what direction my blood sugar is going!
• I knew how much to eat before an activity...
• I knew how much to eat during my activity...
• I knew how much to eat after an activity...
• I knew how to time my insulin for meals better based on what I am eating.
• I knew if I took too much insulin to start an activity...
• I knew if it's a good time to start an activity now or later based on my insulin timing...
• I knew if my blood sugar is too high or too low to do an activity...
• I knew what types of foods to eat before and during exercise.
• I knew how much to adjust my insulin based on what activities I like to do.
• I didn?t have to eat so much to prevent going low during my activity.
• I wish I knew which activities my blood sugar performs best? worst? What's the ideal amount of insulin to have on board.
• There was more timely information when I am doing my activity so I can better manage my diabetes.
• I could see all of my important diabetes logs with my exercise and activity information.
• I had an app that helps me do activity and is diabetes focused as well
• I knew why my blood sugar goes up or down with activity and how to time this better.

If any of these statements sound like you, Engine1 is the app you need!

I'm not one to put my name behind any product just because someone asked me to test out their product.  For years I have been blogging about how I wanted an app that would project what my blood sugar would be after any kind of exercise.  After years of hoping an app that does that and so much more arrived in my email this morning.  For months I have been trading emails with an employee at Glucose Advisors, in this time he told me about the Engine1 app.  He would explain how the app would keep track of all the food and carbohydrates that I ate, the insulin I took via my pump or by injection, and my blood sugars.  At first I thought that I was dreaming, this is the app I have been waiting for ever since I became an athlete living with diabetes almost six years ago.

All of that sounds good but the app has to work.  I could sell you a dry spot in the ocean if my marketing was perfect, will Engine1 be something that is a scam or will it deliver on all that it promises.  I have had the Engine1 app for almost twelve hours and the app is more than I ever thought it would be.  For years when it came to blood sugar management and exercise I went by two rules, start around 230 because after thirty minutes my blood sugar will crash and eat after thirty minutes of working out or racing.  The Engine1 app tells you how to prepare for your workout or your race, because it has a very deep food database the app can tell you how the food you ate will work for you while working out.  As you can see above the main screen tells me how much insulin I have on board, food to be carried while working out and food I need to eat before going to workout.  The amazing part is the time scroll in the center of the screen, if Engine1 tells me my blood sugar isn't where it needs to be to workout I can use the sliding scale to find the best time for me to go workout.  

The Engine1 app is very user friendly, as you can see above it gives you a very nice bubble of information each and every time you do almost anything with the app.  I have had the Engine1 app for almost twelve hours and have yet to realize the full potential.  I used the app while working this afternoon and the app helped tremendously as I had a somewhat active afternoon of work.  Last spring I would have needed a regular soda to help me keep my blood sugar in range while doing the same job that I did today.  Using Engine1 I was able to plug in just how much energy I would be using to perform the job and how long the job would take.  From there Engine1 told me the amount of food that I would need to eat for lunch and how many carbohydrates I should have while performing the activity.  My blood sugar stayed in range for the two hours that I performed the job, I will test the Engine1 app a lot more over the next week but I have a feeling the app will perform brilliantly each and every time that I need it!!!

For anyone interested in the app please visit the Glucose Advisor Engine1 website at ​http://glucoseadvisors.com/engine-one/ 

I have been back on a CGM for the past three weeks, it doesn't matter which CGM I use the CGM the pressure I put on myself is always the same.  When it comes to my blood sugars and my diabetes management I'm a perfectionist.  Whatever it takes to keep my blood sugar within my set range I will do it.  Without a CGM I became like the seasoned veteran at spring training, I was doing just enough to get through my time without a CGM.  I'm not proud of that but it is the truth.  I did my best to keep my blood sugars within my set range but I didn't feel any pressure because I wouldn't know what my exact blood sugar was unless I tested which I did six to ten times a day.

With my CGM I feel like that veteran baseball player that is in a groove and one that has gotten out of the early season funk.  My set range is smaller than it was just three weeks ago, which means I'm putting more pressure on myself to be perfect.  I don't look at that as a bad thing, many people have warned that it may lead to a little diabetes burnout.  To that I say I get my diabetes burnout when I don't have a CGM, I'm OCD and a perfectionist, I need to see my blood sugar every five minutes.  It makes me a better father, husband, employee, coach and athlete.  It also improves my diet because I'm more aware of how the food I'm eating will affect my blood sugar.  For instance I will reach for an english muffin rather than a waffle with my breakfast if my blood sugar is close to going above my set range.

As always this is what works best for me.  It is important to find what drives you when it comes to managing your blood sugars and your diabetes.  For some that might mean a new pair of shoes when your blood sugar is within range all week, or a trip to a sporting event.  Whatever it is work as hard as you can to reach that goal, it will make you a better person and will allow you to love managing your diabetes.

Somedays you have it and somedays you don't.  On Saturday I didn't have it, yes I finished in the top 50 but nothing felt right and my blood sugar was out of range for most of the morning.  It is no secret that I'm a wimp when it comes to racing in the cold.  It takes me a little bit longer to stretch and get warmed up on cold days.  Saturday I was running a little late and didn't allow myself ample time to get warm.  That played a big factor in my blood sugar being out of range as well as my "poor" result.  The good news is that I have just 13 days until the NYC half marathon, I can put this race behind me and focus on a PR.  The bad news is I only have 13 days to figure out what happened to my blood sugar.  I believe I know what caused my blood sugar to go out of range but I have just under two weeks to train when it comes to my blood sugars.  

I was lucky enough to be chosen in the NYC Half Marathon lottery, tomorrow I will be doing my best to check my email every five minutes to see if I gained entry into the 2016 NYC Marathon via the lottery!!  I have a busy day ahead of me tomorrow which will keep me away from my email which could be a good thing.  Last year as I checked my email to see if I gained entry to the marathon I was also on twitter reading tweet after tweet from people that had gained entry.  The NYC Marathon is like no other race, best of luck to everyone that is entered in the lottery.  I hope to see you at the start of the marathon on November 6th!!