I never thought that one of my dads favorite sayings when I was a high school athlete would ever be a blog title.  This morning I could hear my father as sat on the floor of the gym with a low blood sugar that I could have easily avoided.  For those that think my dads were harsh, he knows me and knew what made me tick, I needed comments like this to realize I was doing horrible and needed to step back and calm down.

Waking up with a blood sugar of 243 at 4:46am was not how I envisioned my first day at the gym.  I stood and stared at the meter, do I take insulin or go to the gym and let the activity solve the problem.  Like an idiot I took 1.2 units of insulin had a little coffee a granola bar and off I went.  As I got to the gym I was bouncing off the wall and ready to kick some ass.  After ten minutes on the bike I felt off and decided to call it quits and go do some weight work for my shoulder.  My "coach" showed me some amazing stretches and strength drills. I began the activities and immediately started to sweat.  Not from the work I was doing but from my blood sugar plummeting, like a fool I kept going.  I figured it was the coffee because my pump read 102 but had two down arrows.  I continued to sweat and sat down.  Over comes the coach and asks whats up, a simple "blood sugar" was my answer.  He knew what that meant and offered me a muffin.  I declined and sat there before going to get something to fix the low.  I would eventually bounce back but by then it was time to get to work.

I need to get my shit together.  I hold myself to a very high standard and I can't explain how angry this morning makes me.  I know better, this low should have never happened.  The good news is that tomorrow is a new day!!  Learn from mistakes and remember that it is all good mental training!! 

The great blood sugar days and the roller coaster blood sugar days always bring me back to the cycling team that saved my life.  It wasn't that long ago that a day of out range blood sugars would bring with it depression, I wouldn't feel good about myself because of my blood sugars.  It took me a long time to recognize that out of range days happen, I'm putting in the work and doing all that I can to stay in range, but bad days happen.  Team Novo Nordisk has taught me that bad days happen on and off the bike.  

TNN has taught me that you need to fight, no matter what the challenge you give it your all.  If it is a 5,000ft climb you know it won't kill you but it will hurt and test you mentally.  Diabetes is much like cycling, you know the challenge and you don't just attack and know that it will be okay, you need a plan and you need to monitor and manage every little thing and then the greatness comes.  It is much like building a brick wall, you don't just start throwing bricks down and hope for the best.  You have to lay every brick absolutely perfectly, if you take the time and treat every brick like it is the most important brick in the wall you will soon have the best wall possible.  That is diabetes and that is what I have learned from Team Novo Nordisk, each and every member of this amazing tea, has taught me to work and fight like hell to not only be the best cyclist I can but to be the best person with diabetes I can be!! 

I'm a very quiet and reserved person that often waits to long to ask for help.  I have amazing friends and family that are always willing to do whatever they can to help with whatever I might need.  Over the past couple of weeks I have been planning out my 2019 running season.  Now a lot of things are up in the air but I have two goals, another 50k and a 50 mile race.

When I ran my first 50k I was alone, I had an aunt and uncle come to the race with about ten miles left and they did an amazing job of making sure I finished and was in range blood sugar wise.  For 31 miles however I was alone, I had no one to talk too or anyone to tell me to suck it up and push harder.  That will never happen again!!  With five rest stops on the 50k course I have the idea to have a friend at each one.  They will not pace me, they will however make sure my blood sugar is okay.  They will also be comic relief or talk shit to me and belittle me to make me run better.

I'm quiet and reserved but for the very small group of people that I let in to my world I'm a kid that needs that Bobby Knight like speech sometimes.  I also need the occasional stupid joke to help me relax.  This is just for a 50k never mind my everyday life!!

The funny thing is that when I started to ask friends and family if they'd help the answer was a quick yes.  I just wish I had asked for help sooner.  

Living with diabetes is amazing but it will often have you scratching your head.  I have been living with diabetes for almost thirty years and I have moments where I'm lost and have no idea what happened or what to do.  Over the past few days I have been scratching my head and I don't know what to do.  I love my Medtronic pump and CGM it has made running and cycling so much easier for me over the past year when it comes to starting with a blood sugar in range.  I have been able to set a temp target, wait about an hour and go for a run or get on the bike without a problem.

Over the weekend I planned on going for a bike ride after working in the morning, I ate my breakfast took a little less insulin and set my temp target.  It didn't work, two hours later my blood sugar was at 88 and getting on the bike with that blood sugar would be asking for trouble.  Then I tried to go for a run after working the morning.  That went better and I was able to get in seven strong miles.  I did have a little hiccup however, for two hours my blood sugar hovered right around 150 and I couldn't be happier.  In a moment of pure joy I said to Kate "I should just set a temp target 24/7, look my blood sugar hasn't moved!!"  With that I was off for my run and was feeling great until mile six when I started to get angry at cars going to fast.  I don't often like to play cop while running so I peaked at my pump and my blood sugar was 81 and dropping.  I made sure to pop some glucose tabs and finished my final mile looking at my pump a lot more then I should have.  I was meeting Kate for lunch and had a soda as soon as we sat down to get my blood sugar where I should have been.

The question is am I just having a stretch of bad luck or do I need to go back to the drawing board and get a new approach.  My blood sugars have been running a little lower then normal and I have only been taking 31 units a day which is crazy even for me!!  Obviously my insulin sensitivity is intense, it always been.  Moving forward I will stick with my normal approach but would love to hear what other athletes are doing to keep their blood sugars in range while running or cycling.

Cereal is a breakfast staple for millions, from sugary cereals with marshmallows to the healthy cereals made with whole grains.  For those living with diabetes we are now being told to stay away from cereal in the morning.  I have written numerous blogs about the post cereal spike.  For years I thought this spike was caused by mistiming my insulin or having a blood sugar out of range that in turn would make my blood sugar go even further out of range.  It turns out that it was all those cute little cereal mascots making my blood sugar sky rocket.  From Count Chocula to the Trix Rabbit they're all evil and have something against people living with diabetes.

I was told a few months back to stop eating cereal because of what it does to my blood sugar.  I then asked about the "healthy" cereals such as Grape Nuts, after a small chuckle my doctor said "Those are even worse."  I'm not going to get in to the science and why it causes ones blood sugar to spike, what I will try to do is find alternatives to cereal.

Until I was told I couldn't have cereal for breakfast I was having eggs three or four times a week.  I would have a waffle and some form of protein, usually turkey bacon.  My blood sugars on those days would be perfect after breakfast.  Last time I checked though the week has seven days and not four.  On those other three days I was lost, as time has gone on I have found some healthy alternatives that are blood sugar friendly.  The main staple is peanut butter toast and fruit.  That doesn't sound very exciting but it works, like anything once it becomes a habit you realize it isn't that bad.  I enjoy my toast and fruit mornings, I can relax a little bit and watching NHL Network while eating my toast and fruit is enjoyable.  As I sit there I will often see Tony the Tiger or Lucky peeking around the corner like a crazed ex girlfriend, I will just laugh and enjoy my blood sugars that are in range.

Each time I sit down to write my blog I will make sure I have a drink and a little snack on my desk while I write.  Most times it consists of my gallon of water and a handful of animal crackers.  On a Sunday sometimes a Coors Light and pretzels.  Today however it is a glass of chicken broth and a banana, yes you read that correctly a glass of chicken broth.

Have I gone crazy?  It all depends who you talk to.  Almost a year ago my doctor told me to start drinking chicken broth whenever I didn't feel well and to even do so during and after races.  Having a history of dehydration she said the sodium would work wonders and that broth is amazing and will do a lot of good for the body.  An 8oz glass of chicken broth has worked wonders the other day, after waking up with a horrible crippling headache I took some ibuprofen but it didn't work.  I returned to bed and slept until noon, woke up with the same headache.  I quickly popped two Excedrin and headed to the shower, the shower always makes me feel better.  Once I was dressed I headed to the fridge and grabbed the chicken broth.  I was scared as I put the 8oz glass in the microwave, I wasn't going to drink it cold I'm not that much of a freak!!  After 35 seconds I was ready for my first sip.  Not the best taste but definitely one that I could handle.

As the afternoon went on I felt great!!  I was hydrated and myself.  My muscles felt better and I was back to my normal hyper self.  I will continue to have a glass to start my day.  Now the chicken broth idea may sound odd but is one that has been used by Kobe Bryant as he got towards the end of his career.  I also found this article from Active.com It might sound weird but I encourage any athlete to give it a chance.

I strongly believe my next 50k will be run on Bear Mountain and from what I have heard it is one of the toughest 50k courses in the New England/Mid Atlantic region.  I know three people that have run the course and all three have said that it is difficult but can be done.  I have also been warned that it is more of a mental race than a physical race and this scares the crap out of me!!  

To be honest I'm happy that I will not be running all 31 miles, with the terrain being so rocky and steep I will need to walk and or climb during the race.  I believe that helps me because I can regain my composure rather than trying to run and meet a certain time at each mile.  I have decided that I will not have a watch with me for the race, I want to enjoy the run, I want to enjoy the scenery while running.  I don't want to be looking at my watch every five minutes and doing math in my head to know when I should finish.  For me this race is about being alive and proving to myself that I can do it, it is not about time.

With that said training is going to be interesting, I will be logging tons of miles but I need to do more mental training than anything because this race is going to hurt a lot!!!  As I said I know three people that have run the race and have a number of ultra running books, I will be ready for the race it will just be a matter of not giving in to the pain.

Running a 50k in June of 2017 has helped me prepare for this race next year.  I was not ready for the 50k in June of 2017, I thought I was prepared but honestly I was not.  The mental side of the race was my main concern and I over looked the physical part.  I thought I could train like I was running a marathon but truthfully a 50k is a whole different animal.  I wasn't ready for the rock climbing and as always I began a little to quickly and paid for it much later in the race.  I have over 200 days until race day, I will learn a lot and be ready for race day.

Most people have one electronic item in their life that they can't live without.  No pun intended but I can't live without my insulin pump, it is always on my hip and sees everything that I see.  As I was driving home from work today I started to think how much my insulin pump has seen in just over a year.

I'm not trying to brag but my pump has seen some very intense sporting events, traveled half of the country, met celebrities, spent time with a cycling team, and was there when I got married.  It has also been on my hip for some of the toughest moments of my life, it sees me cry when things are tough. It is the only one that can hear me when I talk to myself in good times and bad.  It has vacations on my dresser when it is time for me to shower and for other more intimate moments.  If my pump could talk I would pay it off so it could not speak of those moments.  

I would like to think that my pump and I have a good relationship.  We often like to hurt each other, I hurt my pump when I fall off the bike and it pays me back when I'm changing and it falls off of my hip.  Nothing is more painful than when my pump falls and pulls on the infusion site.  At the end of the day i love my pump and can't imagine my life without it, I never want to take a break from it.  To many it is just an insulin pump that sits on my hip all day, to me it is like a member of the family.  It has been an amazing year together and I can't wait to see what the next year will bring!! 

For children a week or two at camp gives them friends and memories that last a lifetime. For children with diabetes a diabetes summer camp is the perfect way to meet others living with diabetes and to learn about how others manage the everyday challenges that a preteen or teenager have when it comes to diabetes.

Now imagine a diabetes camp that is specific to cycling.  www.teamnovonordisk.com/team-novo-nordisk-2018-talent-id-camps/Team Novo Nordisk Talent ID Camps are just that, camps where diabetes and cycling are the main focus.  Team Novo Nordisk created these camps to find young cyclists with diabetes in hopes of finding young cyclists that will one day be members of the Team Novo Nordisk pro team. These camps were created with diabetes as the main objective, with talent id camps the team could teach teenagers how to be successful with diabetes while riding the bike.  The camps are by no means easy, people that attend will be challenged on the bike as they ride very difficult roads in and around Athens, Georgia.

As I said this camp is about diabetes, yes people that attend these camps can ride a bicycle really well but they are forming a bond through diabetes.  Just like any other diabetes camp the campers are sharing how they manage their diabetes on the bike with other campers.  They will also be learning from members of Team Novo Nordisk how they manage their diabetes while racing all over the world.

I had the honor of spending a few days at camp a couple years back and I must say that it changed me as a person living with diabetes.  I learned so much about cycling with diabetes, and diabetes in general.  From proper food choices to my target range before going on a ride.  I could have easily filled a notebook with all that I learned.  What impressed me the most however was that the members of Team Novo Nordisk made the camp fun!!  You're sitting in a "class" talking about diabetes and you're making friends from with people from across the globe.  I went as a member of the media and I formed real friendships with a number of riders that are now on the development and pro teams.  These are true friendships, I get emails and messages on social media asking how I'm doing and how the family is.  It is crazy how this camp can change someones life.

For anyone living with diabetes between the ages 15 and 23 that has an interest in cycling this camp is something you need to check out.  If you're a little nervous or don't know what to expect don't hesitate to contact Morgan Brown at Morgan.Brown@teamnovonordisk.com She will answer any questions you may have.  My hope is to be at the 2019 camp as a member of the media yet again.  I love the stories from the attendees and I love seeing what the future holds for Team Novo Nordisk!!  

It amazes me at how many people will laugh or say "It can't be done".  We hear it day after day from a lot of people, just because our sport, our music, our clothes or our disease isn't cool.  The funny thing is that the people that are saying these things are the ones that don't get it.  Chasing your dream or liking something that the majority does not is not wrong.  At the end of the day it is about what makes you happy.  Once you realize that other people will always laugh or make fun of you for things you do you will discover that you are better than those people that are picking on you.  For you choose to be yourself and chase your dreams, that is what makes life so great.  It is the person that is different that will change the world.

People often wonder why I'm so positive about life and my diabetes, today I received an email that brought me to tears.  Sometimes tears of sadness quickly turn into tears of happiness as you think about all of the good times.  You begin to think about that you guys started a journey at the same time and didn't know it.  By chance you met and shared your diabetes life story with each other.  Often times in this "profession" people come and go, when someone reaches out and helps you, you can't help but know you have a friend for life no matter the distance.

Without diabetes I wouldn't be writing a blog about someone I met while chasing my dream.  I didn't know it at the time but this person would be there for me no matter what.  When you hear that you are the motivation for someone that you look up too, it makes you reflect on everything in your diabetes life.

I'm in a great spot diabetes wise and life wise.  That little boy that was diagnosed at the age of eight is now living his dream at the age of thirty-six.  I have diabetes to thank for all of it, from bags of skittles to Fiber One bars in Boston.  From lighthouses to time in a city that I loved when I was a kid, everything is connecting and I owe it all to diabetes.  Diabetes has taught me how to live the life I have always imagined because diabetes has taught me how to enjoy every moment that life has to offer.  Diabetes has given me a friend that has changed my life, I can't thank this friend for all that he has done for me. 

It's no secret that I love my life with diabetes, I love the challenge it presents everyday and I love the person I have become because I live with diabetes.  I'm often asked what I will do once a cure is found, the truth is that scares the crap out of me.  Diabetes is all I know, diabetes has been my life for almost thirty years.  Diabetes has made me a better person, husband and father.  The one thing I don't enjoy about diabetes is that people care, I know that sounds crazy but think about when someone tells you how to do your job.  If someone tells you how to do your job you get very defensive and will bad mouth that person as soon as they walk away.

We all do that with diabetes, someone asks me "Your blood sugar is low, do you need insulin?" I could list comments or questions that get people living with diabetes upset for days.  Maybe we need to take a step back and think about where that person is coming from.  All we know is life with diabetes, I don't know how to care for someone living with diabetes.  They don't write books that say leave a person with diabetes alone if they have had diabetes for over twenty years.  It is our close friends and family that care the most and we yell or get mad at them when they ask us if we are okay or if we tested our blood sugar.  

I have made it a point to take a step back from now on when people ask about my diabetes.  I don't know what it's like to have a son or daughter with diabetes.  I have thought about it and I know I would be the biggest pain in the ass ever because of my own experiences with diabetes.  I need to remember that people are asking or questioning my decisions because they love me and want what is best for me.  Taking five minutes to explain why I'm doing something or why I'm eating a certain food is ten times better then getting angry and giving someone an attitude.  

I'm a nerd, as I get older I can't deny this fact.  Having diabetes has made me a numbers nerd, I always had decent math skills but diabetes has made that skill a lot better.  Another category of my nerdiness is technology, from building computers to make shift video game systems I love technology.  My last nerd category is weather, I watched the weather channel religiously as a child and still do today.  I mean I listen to weather podcasts while working and get very excited when a big snow storm or hurricane develops.

A very strong storm has developed in the Atlantic and will only strengthen over the next few days.  From Georgia to Maine everyone should be ready for some kind of weather from this hurricane.  Obviously being a week out from the storm making landfall means a lot could change, I'm not use my weather nerd side to explain what could cause a storm to shift but I will try to make people with diabetes aware of the storm.

If you are on the east coast and your local news is worried about the storm then you should be worried if you're living with diabetes.  I say worried but you should be prepared, being prepared will help relieve some stress if this hurricane does make landfall where you live.  

Get supplies now!!  I can't stress this enough, get that extra insulin now!!  Get syringes and pens even if you have a pump.  Pump supplies take about a week to get delivered so if you are running low and are in the track of this storm you're already chasing supplies.  Get everything that you can now, test strips, needles, everything.  Being prepared is a must just in case the worst does happen.

As far as food goes make sure that you have the proper food or drink for low blood sugars.  Get water, it won't go bad and even if the storm doesn't affect you, you'll have the water and can use it for years before it goes bad.  ​http://main.diabetes.org/dorg/PDFs/emergency-preparedness/DDRCPatientPreparednessPlan2018Short.pdf 

For an athlete with diabetes one of the most important tools that we have is our CGM. Be it a marathon, bike race, or triathlon a cgm keeps our mind at ease and is easy to check while performing whatever sport we love. A CGM is also very important when it comes to work, especially when work is outside and very physically demanding.

For eight months out of the year I have no problems when it comes to the CGM, however the summer months are very difficult. This year has been especially tough due to high temperatures and humidity. I’m lucky if my cgm lasts two days while working. It has gotten to the point where I will no longer wear it because I’m tired of wasting cgm sites.

Having a wife that is an athletic trainer has a number of benefits as an athlete and as a diabetic. I have used glue, tape and whatever else i can think of and nothing has worked. I have one more month of warm temperatures to try and figure this out. I’m open to any ideas that anyone may have.

As an athlete living with diabetes  I believe I worry about my weight a lot more than I should.  To even type that is odd for me, I'm 5'9" and 166lbs, I'm told I'm too skinny.  Even with those comment I believe my body could be a little better, I still have a little kangaroo pouch that reminds me of all the beers and bad food I digested while in college.  For someone that runs or bikes on a daily basis worrying about the food that I eat sounds weird.

Obviously I take my diet very seriously, I look at my body like a sports car.  If I put in bad food or "gas" in to this vehicle it wont run like it should.  If I put in the best food and drink a lot of water my "car" should run perfectly.  For years I was on a very very strict diet that saw no "bad" food enter my system, I weighed around 156lbs but was miserable when it came to my diet.  I wouldn't have a brownie or any kind of dessert, I looked at beer like it was a beaker full of acid (got to the 45 second mark) as years went bye I tweaked my diet.  Starting in July I went to more of a "normal" diet.  More meat, a couple drinks a couple nights a week, and dessert.  For the summer my body was in great shape and I felt amazing, that has continued into the early fall.  I'm cycling very well and running like the wind blows but how?

I still sit and think all of the food I have eaten of late will catch up to me.  In fact last night I turned down a piece of cake because I didn't workout.  Diabetes wise my blood sugars have also gotten better as of late.  I honestly can't ask for a better situation than the one I am in right now.  I just wish that I wouldn't worry as much about my weight, is it just a normal part of life?  We all want the perfect body and to be the perfect weight.  I don't have a scale and don't want one, I judge my fitness level by my appearance and how I compete at races.  I'm never going to be that guy on the beach with a six pack and the perfect body.  I'll be the guy with the big legs, average midsection, and girly arms.  I can bike and run for hours on end though so at the end of the day if I'm happy with my body and if someone else finds it attractive than I will be and should be happy with my body.

I love my job for a number of reasons but working in the heat has to top the list.  It is good mental training, obviously the job has to get done in the heat, rain or snow.  No excuses, I have to get the job done.  The weird thing is that sounds a lot like running and cycling which might be why I love my job so much.  My job helps me with endurance as well as making the right choices when it comes to hydration and food while working.  This again carries over to racing and training, every little bit of "training" helps.

Today with the heat index over one hundred degrees I had a tough time with keeping my blood sugars in range.  I felt great but have been around the 230 range since after lunch.  This is strictly from the heat I believe, I didn't eat anything out of the ordinary the only variable has been the extreme heat and humidity.  The good news is I get another crack at it tomorrow, new day same heat and humidity.  The tough part is I don't know what to do, taking more insulin to get back in range may cause a severe low because of the physical nature of my job.  All I can do is monitor my blood sugar closely and make sure I have plenty of fluids and supplies with me in case my blood sugar does fall out of range.  Much like working in the heat I love the challenge that the heat brings to my diabetes.